As Josh told you, we went to go play frisbee. What he didn’t tell you was that he lasted about 2 minutes on the field. As he was getting dominated up and down the field by Bruce 1 and 2, he managed to roll his ankle. I came off to console him, and to give him a tissue to wipe his tears. That’s what good friends do.
Frisbee isn’t for everyone, as the physicality can sometimes overwhelm those who are not athletic. Especially in a game like Delhi pickup, where the players are composed of old fat guys (tie-dye bandana included), 7 yr old girls, a kid with only 2 fingers on each hand, and Michael Cera, things can get intense! Josh falls into this category, but he gets an A for effort. He is used to playing games primarily for little girls and Canadians, badminton and hockey.
Indians have a great sense of style when it comes to athletics. They combine practicality with a strong, always present desire to look good. At our pickup game, there are probably 10-15 spectators at each game. I think the appeal is two-fold. 1. White people. 2. We are playing a crazy sport they have never seen.
Here is an example of some typical athletic wear. These guys were just watching us play, and wanted to borrow a frisbee to mess around with. Gucci sandals, Ed Hardy button downs, and Armani jeans, these guys are ready to play hard on the field and party hard in the club.
We also met my cousin Kaku today. He is on my dad’s side, and is the cousin who is closest in age to me. When we were younger, our sole activities were lighting firecrackers, and playing video games. We would sometimes throw firecrackers at pigs, which is funny.
He is a male model. Often in this blog, we joke, we kid, we tell complete lies. This is not a lie. He has modeled on the side for Kingfisher and Armani. He has “walked the ramp” as they call it here and has done runway modeling. He is a god. The industry is cutthroat. Billions go in, only a few come out. I’ve introduced Kaku to Rithlal, who will be mentoring him as he attempts his navigate his way to the top.
Anil uncle was wearing a polo shirt today. They have enlarged the little horse to a big horse because sometimes its tough to recognize that it is a polo shirt. Also, if you are behind Anil uncle, you will be completely unaware of the brand of his polo. Ralph Lauren himself devised a solution.
His ring tone is Encore by Jay-Z and Linkin Park. He has never listened to rap music in his entire life. When I asked him where he got it, he said, “This is a very popular Dominican song that my Dominican friend put on for me. It’s very popular over there.”
I like pointing out to Josh whenever there are white people in India. He gets so much attention, I thought diverting it to the others would be good idea.
It looks like Christmas came early. Rithlal is ready for the public, but is the public ready for Rithlal?
The first time I laid eyes on this man I was blinded by his ‘stache, but behind that beautiful patch of hair is an obedient telekinetic house servant. The man cleans dishes with 110% intensity, he cooks better than that rat from ratatouille and his thighs are complete trunks. Rithlal has been known to run 3 minute miles and routinely golf’s at a -8 handicap.
His looks could kill … and in fact they have. Three women were hospitalized last month due to dehydration and starvation, they couldn’t take their eyes off this beautiful medusa and they ultimately paid the price.
Rithlal stands at a modest 5’5, 52.2 kg (roughly a buck 15), if one didn’t know any better they might mistake him for a malnourished house servant, but Rithlal has .01% body fat and his enormous quads make him immovable. Rithlal is not a violent man by any means but he has been known to protect those that he cares for, recently killing a baker’s dozen LA Bloods.
As far as I know Rithlal is single, making him the most eligible bachelor in all of India and the world, recently edging out Michael Cera for Peoples sexiest man alive – 2009. Rithlal has the highest concentrated seed and only gives birth to males.
Stare at your own risk.
Don’t spend it all in one place.